It’s not every day a barman gets asked to give a lady a Screaming Orgasm in The Slug & Lettuce. When these drinks are on the menu, there’s no hope for a civilised conversation.
I love a good cocktail – I made my career out of serving drinks for some years but reserved cocktails for my social gatherings. But there’s nothing better than ordering something that can launch a few innuendoes across the table at the same time.
Here’s a countdown of Sauce’s top 10…
10. Whispering Eye
Anyone who has seen Role Models will appreciate this, and any fully-functioning tequila lover will also, as they are generally served in both cocktail and shot forms!
9. The Walk of Shame
More of us have done the walk of shame than we’d care to admit. Not in cocktail or shot form though, I bet. It is actually a variation on a Moscow Mule – vodka and ginger ale or ginger beer. A walk of shame you may be happy to take.
8. Sex On The Beach
Everyone knows it, and everyone claims to have had it… This one can be pretty much ordered anywhere. There are a number of variations that I myself have named, such as the Dry Sex on the Beach, adding gin to the mixture, the Orgasm on the Beach, where we do the same but with Malibu, and indeed the Dry Orgasm on the Beach, which is, if you haven’t guessed, gin and Malibu together with the usual vodka and peach Schnapps combination. A great one for summer barbecues, I think.
7. One Night Stand
“Who’s having a One Night Stand tonight?” Always a kinda awkward question to ask whether a drink is involved or not! Though in both senses of the phrase, they can be quite refreshing – the cocktail version takes watermelon, cranberry and lemon flavours and chucks them in with vodka.
6. Slippery Nipple
A shot that tastes great if you can execute it correctly. Not only is it a tricky combo of Baileys and Sambuca, a mixture not for the feint-livered, but also a definite conversation turning-point, especially toward the end of an evening and the beginning of a night out!
5. Cocksucking Cowgirl
I saw this served at a party once – it went down very well (if you’ll pardon the pun). In a similar fashion as the Slippery Nipple, it takes the form of a layered shot, except the Sambuca is replaced by Crème de Menthe.
4. Pearl Necklace
Anyone for one of these? They may be an acquired taste in the bedroom but they’re one of the top sellers at the Orange Rooms lounges.
3. Pornstar Martini
While usually passionfruit-based, complete with a little shot of Prosecco or some other sparkling beverage, there have been mango and raspberry variants produced. I think they sound raunchier somehow when referred to as a “Raspberry Pornstar” or a “Mango Pornstar”.
2. Slow Screw
Where a classic Screwdriver adds Sloe gin to the mix. Again complete with variations (this time published in the Diffordsguide cocktail recipe book, which include the Slow Comfortable Screw and the daring Slow Comfortable Screw against the Wall. In my experimentations, I also came up with a Cointreau variant, which I dubbed a Slow French Screw.
1. Screaming Orgasm
A Slug & Lettuce lynchpin, described as looking like “whale cum” by one customer, certainly the one that takes the top spot. No civilised conversation is safe when one of these is on the table or at the bar.
An Unknown Sauce
Not So Unknown // @DMHurst93