Working in retail teaches you a variety of things… Like how to smile and say “you’re welcome, have a great day!” when a customer dumps their pile of tried-on-clothes in your arms on the way out, or when you have to resist a resting bitch face in response to an idiotic question.
But among these new retail related talents, us retail workers notice a long list of things…
Here are 13 things you will totally relate to if you’ve ever worked in retail.
1. Customers Either Say Thank you 13456547457547 Times Or Not At All.
There’s no in-between it seems.
2. They Have A Habit of Carrying An Item Over As If Its A Delicate Glass Ornament.
*Arm outstretched* “Just this please…” *Places top on the counter as if it is about to explode*
3. People Are Really Fucking Indecisive When It Comes To Clothes.
“Oh I’m not sure if I want this one…” *Puts top down* “Actually, yeah… Yes I do want it” *Waits until it has been scanned* “No no, actually I don’t…”
4. Suddenly 97% Of People Forget How Hangers Work When They’re Shopping.
Whether it’s inside out, upside down or back to front… I really do wonder how they hang their clothes at home.
5. Customers Underestimate Our Urge To Be Sarcastic When They Ask If “Anyone Is Serving”
“Well, you can see there’s nobody on the tills, so no, nobody is serving, dickhead.” *Walks around and politely says “sorry of course!”*
6. Everyone Has Their Own Trying-On-Shoes Walk.
We all do it. But being a spectator is the best.
7. Customers Love A Good Backstory As To Why They’re Returning Their Fluffy Jumper.
We just want to know if it is faulty or not, we didn’t ask for your life story, Karen.
8. When Customers Ask Us For Advice We (Secretly) Seek Out Our Inner Gok Wan.
“Well, I’m not sure about that top, but this would look GREAT with those trousers!”
9. We Often Wonder If We Are Speaking Another Language.
“Would you like a 5p bag?” “Do I have to pay for it?” WHAT DID I JUST SAY. 5P. BAG.
10. There Is Nothing More Annoying Than Picking Change Up Off The Counter.
I don’t actually have the plague, you can hand me that money you know.
11. Customers Don’t Always Answer Questions With Words.
*In fitting rooms* “How did you get on??” *Customer dumps 15 jumpers, 32 dresses and 19 scarves into our arms without saying a word* Not well then?
12. Retail Workers Are The Best At Gritting Their Teeth And Smiling.
Us: “Have a good day!” Customer: “You too! See you later!” Us: “Thank you! Bye!” *Tries not to break down and cry as we watch them leave*
13. Although Sometimes The Truth Comes Out.
Boss: “Can you stay later?” Us: “Errr….”