Whether you pop in for a quick browse on your way to work, waste some time while the queue in Greggs goes down, or you’re in the honeymoon phase with your new lover, Ann Summers makes us feel all kinds of things when we step inside those saucy doors…
So here are Sauce’s 8 Things All Girls Secretly Think In Ann Summers…
1. How Will My Fanny Handle That?
Your eyes have locked onto a giant Rampant Rabbit and you’re suddenly feeling like a virgin again. Just how the hell will that enormous contraption fit in my vagina?
2. I Wonder If I Could Wear That Bra Normally…
It might be a little racy, but fuck it, Ann doesn’t get to decide where and when I decide to flash my nips to the world.
3. Where Does That Even Go?!
Your friends are looking round Ann Summers like sex toy extraordinaires as you’re eyeing up something oddly shaped in fluorescent pink wondering: Just where the bloody hell is that supposed to go.
4. Who Even Has A House Built Ready For All These Restraints?
Maybe this is why I’m single? My bedroom isn’t equipped to tie anyone up? *mentally evaluates bedroom layout*
5. Ew. Ew. EW. I Don’t Need To Think Of That Old Couple Having Sex.
We know it happens, but we definitely don’t want to see an old couple gazing at a row of dildos as they discuss their ‘needs’ with the shop assistant. Get me out of hereeeeeee.
6. Do Men Really Wank Off Into These Torch Things?
But where does the jizz go? Does it just stay there until it’s full?
7. Is It Just Me Or Does That Fluffy Whip Look Like A Feather Duster?
Shouldn’t giggle, shouldn’t giggle… WHAT EVEN IS THAT.
8. I Bet Georgie Has All Of These, The Little Slut.
We all have one of those friends, don’t we girls?
An Unknown Sauce
Not So Unknown // @TheSukiSays