From lazy conversation starters to penis photos and requests for nudes, online/app dating seems to bring out the horny-ness in everyone these days. With the shallow end of dating lying at the doorstep of Tinder in particular, have these apps turned ordinary human beings into people that can’t possibly date anyone with the wrong type of selfie?
Despite being a twenty-four year old lesbian, Tinder seems to think I might like a d**k every now and then, and continues to offer me possible men to match with. Occasionally, as a good sport, I swipe right just to see how good their gaydars are and find myself with a variety of possible new boyfriends. Now, I’m not here to tear these apps and dating sites to pieces, after all, I’ve used them previously and met some perfectly normal people. But that doesn’t mean the horror stories don’t exist.
I signed up to PinkCupid, which if you’re not familiar with it, is a dating website for lesbian/bisexual/curious women. Which is great. Unless someone else with a free account messages you and then you can’t read a word they say. But obviously they have to make their money somewhere. Something that does annoy me however is the enforcement of stereotypes that the website adopts. Yeah, I get it. If you’re after a girly girl you’re not going to go searching for someone with a buzz cut, but surely pushing every lesbian/bisexual woman into a category isn’t going to help what the LGBT community stand for? And ‘Just Me’ just feels a little lame.
I’m going to put myself out there. This is what women (and men it seems) saw on my Tinder.
The results weren’t particularly interesting from the female side of things. Most messages started with a boring ‘hello’ ‘hi how are you’ or something similar, although one girl took my initial ice breaker in her stride.
However, PinkCupid kicked up some interesting results…
After replying with a brief, ‘thank you’, she continued to message me asking if I had Kik and wanted to see some “things you might like” – To which I kindly declined. So far I’d been greeted with mundane introductions and only one sign of trying to get in my pants as an opening line. So far so good, maybe the horror stories aren’t true? Or maybe I’ve been lucky enough to avoid them. From this, I decided that my overt lesbian-ness couldn’t pass for a straight dating site, and asked my friend Gabi for her Tinder experiences.
Gabi quickly told me: “My conversations are so boring! The minute they mention sex or my chest they’re gone, ain’t nobody got time for that.
All men seem to do is use crappy jokes that they’ve probably sent to the same women and Googled or they open with something about my appearance. Boring!”
Plenty of people meet, date and end up in long term relationships via these apps and websites, but what is it that brings the worst out in people? We seem to have lost the skills to communicate and instead create conversations out of sex. And with a subject like ‘Mmmmm’ I’m not entirely sure how a 38 year old married woman deemed that the best ice breaker out there.
I asked Gabi to send over a few examples of her Tinder dating, included below…
And one that made my heart melt a little. Oh man, he tried.