When it comes to talking about our sex lives, some are more willing than others. It’s human nature for us to talk about things we enjoy, but when it comes to talking about masturbation, most ladies seem to keep their lips sealed tight.
Whilst working as a bar maid in my late teenage years I spent most of my time telling drunk louts that I was unavailable and trying to avoid the unnecessary stares that my (VERY TINY) boobs got from desperate blokes. One night I was even shocked when one guy tried to take a picture of me for his “Wank Bank.” As I walked home I thought about myself and the fact that my eighteen-year-old single ass was still to experience any form of sexual awakening and that I was definitely still the stuff of nightmares when I was naked. I’d never even thought about masturbation, and why? Because I’d never talked about it with anyone. It wasn’t a topic I often wanted to openly talk about with my mates over a cup of coffee, because… EWWWWW.
A recent anonymous survey showed that 92% of the woman asked masturbated. But if tonnes of us are doing it then why do we never talk about it? Why is there a sudden shame in it? We all love talking about vibrators and dildos and laugh hysterically when some poor soul has a misfortune with said appliance. When it comes to admitting that we enjoy it, anonymously we are happy to bare all, but why can’t a woman stand up in public and happily admit that last night she had the best session in the world, waking up feeling invigorated and ready for the day without getting a dodgy look or a tut from someone. I only ever frequented my local Ann Summers for the bras, but sometimes I would find myself curiously glancing over at the array of brightly coloured machines and wondering whether I should give it a go. But every time convincing myself it wasn’t for me and leaving sheepishly with three pairs of knickers that I really didn’t need; Why? Because I was too embarrassed to admit to anyone that I wanted to feel good. Every time I thought about masturbation I would look down at my stomach and tell myself I was too fat to feel any form of self-love. That is all it is, masturbation is the admission that you love yourself, and you are comfortable with your body. And while loads of us do it, we are scared to talk about it.
The female body is something that many women still struggle to understand. Everyone girl has different feelings when it comes to sex and self-touching. Some find it easy but others don’t enjoy it, therefore never bother. Unlike men, we should feel the joy of never feeling pressured into slapping one out to a picture of some sexy cow boy because “That’s what’s expected.” But we shouldn’t shy away from it. Masturbation has many fine qualities that women should feel free to explore, not only is it relaxing but it helps you learn about your own body, what feels good and what is uncomfortable. It helps you find the perfect way to orgasm, something that some women still struggle with. Now don’t panic, I’m not saying it’s time to run to Ann Summers and awkwardly wander around the over eighteen section, haphazardly pressing buttons and wondering why the hell anyone would want to stick that up their vagina. I’m saying that it’s time to learn about yourself, take some time out, and explore what makes you feel good.
Because that is what masturbation should be about, feeling good.
So ladies, it’s time. Light the candles, play some music and get to know yourself a little bit better, and don’t be afraid to talk about it. You never know what another person is thinking, whether they are scared to try it or even if they know how!
It’s easy for the men (like, up down, up down, splurge, done, right?) So swap techniques, say “Have you tried this?” talk about the benefits and have fun, because that’s all us girls really want to do!
An Unknown Sauce
Not So Unknown // @LadyFradgley