Welcome to Sex With An Unknown Sauce, aka SWAUS.
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A while ago with an ex we decided to have a romantic date night, but thought it would be nice to do it all at home. So we dressed nice, cooked a three course meal, played some smooth jazz. Candles and all that. It was great, I cooked some sort of mushroom dish to start, a really nice curry, a green Thai with all fresh ingredients as the main and skipped the dessert for champagne (prosseco or more likely “sparkling wine”) before things got frisky. She unbuttoned my shirt and slipped my trousers down, kissing down as drunkenly sexy as she could. Proceeding to go down on me, basically my wining and dining plan, mainly wining, had worked! But the mood was ruined slightly by the overwhelming desire to pee, I tried to fight it off. But the longer it went on it got more intense and a lot more uncomfortable! Until I had to stop it, a bit of a mood killer. So I ran to the toilet. And the tiniest trickle came out like I had nothing. But the tingle was even stronger. I didn’t know what was going on, I admit I panicked a little…
I didn’t really have a clue what to think. It was like a burning sensation. I starting panicking what if I suddenly had an STD! Which was pretty ridiculous. The only thing I could think to compare it to was the feeling you had when you had spicy food! Then it clicked, basically my dick was on fire. I ran it under a tap, which only made it worse! In the end I thought what helps with spice… milk obviously. Thus I spent the rest of the evening with my dick in a pint of milk. I even scored a milk blowjob later on to say sorry, which also ended terribly.
– Sex With An Unknown (Male) Sauce –