Myth? Denial? Reality?
An insight into one of sexuality’s “grey areas”
“You’re gay but can’t admit it!” “You’re greedy!” “There’s no such thing as a bisexual!”
That’s just to name a few of the things I’ve heard said to some openly bisexual friends of mine, whether in jest or in seriousness.
So you can imagine how the idea of bi-curiosity might go down with people. In short, it’s for people who want to experiment because they are genuinely unsure of where they stand on the sexual spectrum. A woman may want to have sex with another woman purely to experience it for themselves.
After all, how can you say you don’t like something until you try it?
It is no different with men; it’s just more difficult to find a man who will admit it.
Speaking from personal experience, I knew a man who was identifying as a bisexual for a long time even though all of his prior sexual encounters had been with women. He was openly attracted to men, and did want to have sex with a man, but the whole time he was totally unsure as to whether or not he would enjoy it.
As such, when the occasion arrived, he tried, and he failed to like what was happening. Afterwards, it left him with another list of questions. “Do I like men after all?” “Am I just attracted on a skin-deep level?” for example. These are questions that he is still yet to answer to himself. But in discussions with his friends, such as myself, following this event, it has been repeatedly concluded that he was just bi-curious, rather than a fully-fledged bisexual.
20-year-old Anna Michele from Bournemouth also identifies as bi-curious, despite being in a committed relationship with a man. She took me right to the roots of her attraction to the same sex:
“From a young age I remember finding girls attractive and liking them. I have always found something intriguing about having sex with one. If I’m honest I’m not 100% sure exactly what it is I find attractive. I think it would be a totally different experience. Maybe a girl would be more intimate or possibly just less selfish – not that my boyfriend is selfish – but a girl may pick up vibes that a man wouldn’t. As well, some women are really sure in themselves and know themselves and are willing to show it and have sort of different sexual confidence levels. Basically they are sexy.”
Of course it’s always easier to find a man who is game for more than one woman to join him in the bedroom than the other way around, which Anna puts down to “the thought of the unknown, and that [a man] does not know how far two women will go with one another”. So how does Anna’s own boyfriend feel about her self-admitted bi-curiosity?
“I think it turns him on but occasionally I think it scares him as I say what I’m thinking and often it is quite extreme. I would have sex with a woman and I also wouldn’t mind bringing a woman into the equation with my boyfriend and me, if an opportunity arose and it felt right He’d prefer to be a part of it, if it did happen.”
But all experimentation and hypothetical threesomes aside, could a successful experience with a woman be a gam-changer for Anna’s outlook on her sexuality?
“I’m not sure if I even expect anything apart from a new experience really, but I can say for almost sure that in the long run I don’t think a woman would be able to fully satisfy me.”
Myth busted – bi-curiosity and bisexuality do exist. Whether they are permanent lifestyle decisions or an excuse to explore the unknown – they are very real things.
An Unknown Sauce
Not So Unknown // @DMHurst93