Recently there has been a lot of talk about sexuality and the amount of people identifying as bisexual. As tabloids deem bisexuals as confused and confusing for parents to understand, what I can’t get my head around is: Why? Why is bisexuality so invisible? If a guy is seen with another guy, “that guy is gay,” but if he’s seen with a woman, “that guy is straight”.
Half way bisexuality…
The temporary bisexual label has become the half way house for experimenting at university, for telling your friends and family that you’re gay at a later date and for covering all bases. Saying you’re bisexual has become an easy way to sleep around with any gender and avoid categorising yourself onto one side of the fence. This then leaves those who truly identify as bisexual rather in the dark. And when someone ‘famous’ comes out of the bisexual closet, it is glamourised into some sort of mysterious lifestyle as though it doesn’t really exist for us peasants.
Unfortunately, wherever we go, stereotypes exist.
Whether we as a society have created these stereotypes on our own accord, or whether we grab bits and bobs from the media to paint a picture, we can’t help but take these indicators and jump to conclusions.
For example, I’m a gay female and I’m with a bisexual woman. To anyone on the outside, we get branded as lesbians. This is something particularly visible in bars/clubs. Girl holds girl’s hand. Lesbians. Girl kisses girl. Lesbians. Guy kisses girl. Straight couple.
Catch my drift?
Not dissimilar to trans individuals, who are misgendered and given the wrong pronouns on a daily basis. If they don’t “pass” enough for their ‘gender’ they are discriminated against. No facial hair yet? Must be female. Short hair? Slightly tomboyish but not quite ‘a guy’? Must be a lesbian. But we can’t be sure now. Unfortunately, this type of discrimination exists within the LGBTQ community too. As people are too afraid of the unknown. They aren’t sure if you’re “passing” as a male or female, with an overcrowding assumption looming as to whether any trans individual is quite worthy of passing as cis just yet.
What is it about being bisexual that means they need to pass some sort of test?
Do bisexuals need to justify their sexuality in some way? As they are constantly asked if they prefer men over women, who they have dated more or who they would rather end up with. I know few bisexuals myself. A couple (female) bisexual friends claim they prefer sexual encounters with women but prefer to date men, while others are the complete opposite.
But who cares? In my mind, nobody is defined by the sexual orientation they identify as. If I fell in love with a man tomorrow, I’d be a little taken back but I’d go with it. Because no label is sewn onto the back of your neck like a t-shirt, so why the fuck not?